Robert Bacal's article The Art Of Cooperative Language explains how the language we use can make us appear confrontational or cooperative.
Confrontational language sends the following messages:
- you are absolutely certain you are right
- you are unwilling to consider the other person's position
- challenges the other person to back up what they say
- has a harsh, confrontational tone
- the other person has no choices
- tends to blame the other
- doesn't leave the other an out
Cooperative language sends the following messages:
- you are willing to consider the other person's position
- you recognize you could be wrong
- invites person to discuss rather than challenges
- has a milder, cooperative tone
- leaves room for choice
- tends to blame nobody
- helps other save face
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