How to resolve disagreements

You probably recognize this classic illusion. Depending on how you look at it, it's either a young woman or an old lady. The point is, two people can look at the same thing and see it differently. This is how a lot of disagreements occur in the workplace. One person sees the young woman, the other the old lady. Both are right. But the problem manifests when neither try to understand the other's viewpoint.

It's an understandable challenge. Our minds stop searching after the first plausible explanation. For example, "Anyone can tell that's an old woman. Why are we wasting time talking about other viewpoints?" And then energy is wasted defending and arguing over this position.

To resolve disagreements, you have to get in the habit of making yourself see the other's viewpoint. It won't happen automatically. You have to tell yourself "If I only see the old lady, then I need to understand why my coworker only sees a young woman." A simple but effective question is "Help me understand your viewpoint." Only then can the disagreement move toward respectful closure.