3 social myths that lead to misunderstandings

Authors Lee Colan & David Cottrell provide insight on how to prevent these 3 social myths from creating misunderstandings between you and others.

Myth 1: If you say no, you’ll hurt people’s feelings.
Reality: You have no control over another person’s feelings. If you’re honest in telling the person what your priorities are and why you have to say no, most of the time she will respect that. She would rather hear “Sorry, I can’t do it” up front rather than “I’m sorry, I didn’t get to it” later. Just tell the truth.

Myth 2: I cannot say no to my subordinates or my boss.
Reality: Actually, you can. You are ultimately responsible for achieving results, and if it’s clear that the activity your subordinates or supervisors are suggesting will keep you from accomplishing your priorities, you need to say no and be clear on why you are saying no. If you explain your priorities and they’re not in line with the priorities of your subordinates or your boss, something is out of sync.

Myth 3: If I say no to this person, I could irreparably damage the relationship.
Reality: If saying no could damage the relationship, your relationship is probably pretty toxic already. Relationships are damaged more by misunderstandings and unspoken perceptions than by disagreements. If you are open and honest, chances are you’ll be able to work through an issue of disagreement.